Craft Stars: the Handmade Ryan Gosling Interview
Crafty ladies of the world prepare to swoon. He's handsome. He's famous. He loves a crafty lady. He's Handmade Ryan Gosling. But what's really going on behind that on-screen facade?
For those unfamiliar with Handmade Ryan Gosling prepare to be amused and rather hot under the collar. HRG is a Tumblr featuring images of the man himself, coupled with the crafty quotes that express his deep feelings for the crafty ladies he loves.
The blog, hatched in early December 2011, features nearly 100 posts and has been bombarded with likes and reblogs since it began.
His Twitter account boasts over 1000 followers, and his crafty love is rumoured to be the cause of a falling out with celeb contemporary James Franco.
I ask Handmade Ryan the burning questions all of us have been dying to ask.
Hi, Handmade Ryan, welcome to Crafty Crafty. Please make yourself comfortable on our handmade celebrity craft sofa. I know you have a busy schedule, so thanks for agreeing to be interviewed. I promise to go easy on you.
Describe yourself in one sentence:
Hey girl. I love two things: women & crafts.
You seem to have a special kind of empathy with crafty ladies. When did you realise you were passionate about craft?
Hey girl. My Gran used to crochet tea cozies and I would watch her for hours, mesmerized. Ever since then, the beast within me has been lulled by needles, yarn, and fabric.
Do other Hollywood stars share your craft love or do their eyes glaze over when you wax lyrical about the joys of candlemaking? (if you can't name names at least give us a hint)
Hey girl. You'd be surprised how many of us are getting our stitch on in our trailers. I know us Hollywood types are famous for dancing on tables, but it's a good trip to Michaels (an American arts and craft store) that brings out our wild side.
Patricia Clarkson taught me how to knit! And it's not just the ladies. Steve Carrell loves scrap booking, and George Clooney can't really relax without some needlework.
James Franco . . . needs to step off.Rumour has it you handmade 'the notebook' in 'The Notebook'. Is this true?
Hey girl. All I can say is hand sewn binding is a bitch.You seem so laid back. What really makes you mad?
Hey girl. An un-organised craft stash.
What's the most heartbreaking craft tragedy you've had to help a lady weather?
Hey girl. Let's just say that now she knows how to felt.
Eyelash yarn: the devil's work or almost as classy as fake fur?
Hey girl. Eyelash yarn is Klassy with a K. A capital K.
Do you have a craft mantra you use to calm yourself that you'd like to share with us?
Hey girl. I say, "I can always deconstruct it for materials. I can always deconstruct it for materials."
I've heard you're an accomplished jazz guitarist. Have you ever written a song about the joys of craft or of loving a crafty lady?
Hey girl. This is a little known fact, but I co-wrote Craft Talk with Leslie Hall. No need to ask her about it . . . we parted ways. I wanted gold pants too, and . . . well, she felt there could only be one star in our show.
Which crafty garments turn your head?
Hey girl. Tatted, tipless Madonna-style lace gloves. So hot.
Any advice for lonely guys wishing they had a crafty female in their lives?
Hey guy. Go to JoAnn, stand near the fabric-cutting counter, and look confused. Plant your feet firmly and then call out, "Can someone explain the difference between velvet and velour?"
Hey girl. Should you ever need to procure a crocheted thong, I'm your man.
The burning question: Do you have a special crafty lady in your life?
Hey girl. Of course I do . . . you.
And lastly our Crafty Crafty standard: when the zombie apocalypse hits which crafty tool will you wield as a weapon?
Hey girl. Have you ever seen a size 50 knitting needle? Zombie brains don't stand a chance.
Thanks for giving up your time to talk to Crafty Crafty, Ryan.
*uses copy of interview questions as fan to cool down*
It's been a pleasure putting questions to you. Uh, do you know you have glitter glue on your shirt? You do? Ok.
You can submit your own ideas too. Which might mean having to search Google for just the right Ryan Gosling picture to fit your quote. A taxing task.
Huge sequin-covered kudos to Handmade Ryan's personal assistants. Hey girls. You're doing a sterling job keeping the Tumblr rolling:Ashley Ray (@sewsodef)
Allyson Dykhuizen (@sweatshopoflove)
Katie Canavan (@katiecanavan)
Lilith Ubbelohde (@theowlandthebee)
Crafty Valentine's love to you all! Feel free to go off for a cold shower now.