Kathryn Bigelow scoops the first female Best Director Oscar, Sandra Bullock tells everyone how much she loves them, Jeff Bridges thanks everyone on the planet individually. Isn't it about time that you had your own moment dramatically clutching a shiny, bald, golden statuette to your chest?
If you're not up for embarking on a film career to get you behind that podium you can always make your own Oscar.
The Everything Mom site begins by ruthlessly shaving the head of a charity shop Barbie doll and ends up with a slightly bustier version of the coveted Oscar but with better legs.
Perfect for practising the part where you well up and talk about how honoured you are to be up there with so many other great bald golden Barbie winners.
Just remember to thank us in your speech because without Crafty Crafty you'd be Oscarless. We can say we knew you when.
"IIIIIIIIIIII want an iPhone!" you often whine as friends of yours show off their fancy schmancy gadget which is phone, PC, butler, personal shopper and answer to the universe's mysteries in a handy palm-sized package through the medium of apps. Who needs to be waiting till you have the pennies to get yourself the real deal when you can craft yourself one for the cost of a few bits of card, some glue and a few slops of paint?
The amazing Papercraft iPhone video takes you through some of the almost painfully intricate process it took one crafter to conjure themselves an iPhone out of card. The results are, quite frankly, pretty damned iPhone-like. Gloss paint, cocktail sticks and being a stickler for detail creates an iPhone replica that looks entirely like the real thing, complete with a dock and a shiny presentation box.
You can find the tutorial on the Paperartcraft blog so you can get crafting one right away.
All you need to worry about now is the dangers of getting a paper cut when you casually go to answer your first fake iPhone text.
Are you one of those shy, retiring types who's too modest to ask for a raise? Or maybe you know someone who fits that description. Either way, you can give someone the hint with these 'put upon' paperclip dudes I spotted while loitering on Etsy on a slow Monday morning.
I've had to lower them to appearing in my category for 'pointless craft' (Etsy lists them under 'something else'), but that doesn't make them any less fun. They've also got goody eyes, which of course makes them an instant hit...
I've wracked my brains, but I'm sure that the applications for a giant johnny are limited. You can dress up in it, looking disturbingly like a confused member of the Ku Klux Klan, use it as a makeshift sleeping bag on cold nights or lend it to a blue whale (or other phallically gifted creature). But beyond that, I'm a bit stumped.
But that didn't stop Etsy member Little Elk from making the huge prophylactic, which is 100 times actual size. It does come with some rather nice pillows, that are made to look like large-scale condom packets, and have pockets to store actual condoms. Aha! So at last, there we have it. A use.
Buy it here for $80
Related: Embroidered valentine's condoms
Ever wanted to disappear Dilbert-style into your computer screen and escape all that tedious real life stuff? Well now you can, because someone's gone to the trouble of knitting one of these giant laptop sock things 'for privacy, warmth, and concentration in public spaces'. Right. And to honest, this is very nearly pushing me to break one of those unwritten rules of craft blogging and scream at the top of my voice 'but WHY!?'
If, however, this sort of strange melding with technology happens to appeal to you, there are all sorts of other knitted objects to help you 'interface' with everyday gadgets over at SternLab.
Related: More utterly pointless craft
'What's going on here?' you might well ask! The seemingly grisly scene is actually a very ethical way to make an 'animal skin' rug, complete with realistic head and less lifelike neon pink pelt. So if you like the feel of dead animal on your feet but would prefer no actual fluffy quadrupeds were injured in the process, this fun project by Hemi Housewife on Craftster could be just what you're looking for!
Related (ish): Yay or nay? Making felt from dead cat fur
One of my new year's resolutions is to take my "to do" list a bit more literally than I currently manage, and I can't think of a better way to keep a beady eye on progress than pinning up the list with a set of googly eye thumbtacks. Of course, I like to keep track of everything that can be one with this wonerfully ubiquitous craft ingredient, so hurrah for Zakka Life for coming up with this latest fun idea.
[Via Craftzine]
Related: Gallery: I spy with my little eye | Transform an old purse with googly eyes | How to make edible googly eyes
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